I knew it had been a minute, but it was still a shock to the systems to confirm that it has been over a year since my last post. A wake-up call, really. The silver lining is that it is conveniently on-theme with the topic of this post. I had no time to post because 2024 was a busy year. Work. Toddler. Life. You name it. But quite honestly, it would be just as accurate to say that I was busy… (drum roll)… shopping.  

Here are some quick stats of my 2024:

Apparently I spent all of my 2024 shopping, and returning. Oh, the returns. I don’t know how I managed to make this many returns on top of my full-time job.

The case of a shopaholic

Needless to say, I have a problem (or 123). I don’t need a psychologist, self-help guru, or minimalist to tell me so. Not with these numbers. That said, who doesn’t love to self-diagnose by Google? According to addictionhelp.com, shopping addiction is also called compulsive buying disorder, and some signals are an obsession with shopping and feeling embarrassed with others who don’t share the same interest. So far so familiar. I see a bit of every single type of the condition in my habits and behavior (keep in mind, my wardrobe is overflowing and I really didn’t need anymore): 

• Shopping is my pick-me-up and a treat.
• I make impulse purchases, but who doesn’t?
• Bulimic shopping was interesting. While I don’t do unscrupulous things to force a return, I trap myself in the buy-and-return cycle by “cleverly” selecting retailers that offer generous return policies.
• I love the thrill of finding a good deal. Indeed, there are very few things I’m willing to pay full price for. 
• I have a weakness for matching sets of anything.

So what went wrong? 

How did things go so off the rails, when I had the best intentions at the beginning of 2024? I wanted to shop intentionally and buy sparingly. I was tracking my wardrobe religiously (to be fair, I did consistently do that throughout the year). But somewhere between incessant scrolls of TheRealReal app and shipping returns at UPS, I found myself spinning completely out of control.

My biggest single point of failure was that I spent all my free time mindlessly browsing. Preloved luxury apps. Retailers I already liked. New brands I learned about from YouTube influencers. Any busy working parent can probably find a couple of hours at the end of the day to unwind. I chose to spend my evenings hunting for the next great thing that would complete my wardrobe. Nothing wrong with that per se, but in my case, it made me a serial shopping and returner. The least I can do now is admit what was happening. 

At some point, it became impossible, or pointless honestly, to maintain and stick strictly to a wishlist. And my dirty “buy what I like” habit reared its ugly head again. For the most part I still followed a 24-hour rule, meaning, wait at least 24 hours before hitting the ApplePay button. By resisting that impulse to buy in the moment, the goal is that I end up forgetting about it or come back to it much later with a clearer head. The rule had served me well before. Problem is, there’s nothing magical about the number “24.” This time around, I was spending every free moment thinking about shopping, so it was easy to comply with the rule; I just waited till the 25th hour. Each time I picked up my phone was the next chance to remember something I wanted to buy. And I bought it. 

Another reason is that I mainly shop preloved. Now, I thoroughly enjoy shopping preloved and will continue doing that. However, this is a lesson that some of its biggest draws could also become drawbacks. For me they did, resulting in the record-making number of purchases. This topic really deserves its own post, so stay tuned. 

Finally, and this is a fun one, it is the pursuit of the perfect wardrobe. Around the same time I started learning about intentional living, I also got exposed to and fascinated by all things capsule wardrobe and personal style development. See, the timing was perfect. The pandemic was like The Great Reset for my wardrobe. I wore nothing but sweatpants and sneakers for two years following quarantine and a baby. When I finally felt the motivation to figure out my personal style and curate my wardrobe, I was looking at casual, possibly frumpy, clothes, workwear (from my office days and now irrelevant), and stuff from so many years ago that did not feel like me anymore.

A blank slate. Depending on your philosophical leaning, it could mean either the biggest opportunity or a blackhole. As the numbers show, I took a glass-half-full approach and bought and bought and bought. I was trying to buy a solution. Heck, buying became the solution. Instead of adding pieces slowly, I was on the fast track, growing my new wardrobe from zero to 60 in a year. Many, many orders had to be placed for me to try things out. Fortunately, I do like most of the items I ended up keeping. I am pretty happy with where my wardrobe is at right now, but in retrospect, there was no rush and I could have taken my time to enjoy each addition more before moving onto the next.

New year, new me?

I won’t jinx things by calling this a new year resolution, but I want to slow down this year. Way down. Starting by putting down my phone and using my time to create, self reflect, and grow instead. 

Welcome. It’s good to be back here with me, myself, and you.

xo